I helped Grandmomma make pizza for supper tonight. I rolled out the homemade dough & before doing so, she told be to grease up my hands. I had to rub on margarine as if it were lotion. It was the strangest thing. It feels as if I absorbed it.
I feel like I'm breaking. My repetitive OCD habits have only increased. I love it when they fade away, when the well being of others doesn't feel like it's in my hands, but here they are. I'm not technically diagnosed, but I sometimes feel as though I have it. And I keep crying.
I'm busing it home Friday. I'm making a doctor appointment for that day so I'll have a valid reason to miss school. Then I'm not coming back for awhile. Maybe Monday or Tuesday or whenever. Mom's working, Dad's in the city, my brother will be doing his own thing. I just need my room, my bed, and to be alone. I'm sick of smiling. I just want to cry the days away.
On a bright note, my ballet classes begin tomorrow. I'll let you all know how it goes.
Have gobs of fun in ballet tomorrow!!!! Get flexible and make me proud (and jealous :P).
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Victoria
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been tearful and down. I think a break will do you good. Have fun at ballet classes and look after yourself. <3. XXX.
ReplyDeleteBallet sounds like so much fun! I hope you start feeling better- maybe you could mention to your doc about the ocd habits? A break will do you well, sometimes just two or three days away from everyone will help loads! <3
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