The plate crashed

I adore the thoughtful comments ladies :)

It's been awhile since I've updated you on my weight. I'm at 131.4 lbs these last couple days. I'm really trying to do this the healthiest way possible, but I would like to be under 130 by next Monday. I think it's possible. Ohh and I made a bet with my brother for $10, so I have to lose 4.4 pounds by April 17. Definitely possible, I will do this.

Bellow is my list of what I gave up for lent:

1) Bingeing - should limit night eating too
2) Peanut Butter - probably my main source of protein intake, now that I'm as vegan as possible (abbreviated AVAP). It is probably my main fat intake as well. Now that I've eliminated cheese with the whole vegan thing, & peanut butter, there's nothing standing in my way!
3) Some of my anxious behaviours - this one's kind of different. I'm so tired of thinking the world is going to come to an end, unless I act some weird unrelated thought out. They're harmless, but time consuming & not normal. It's ridiculous for me to feel this way, like I can control something I can't, which in turn usually gives me limited time to control what I can. I want these obsessive compulsive tendencies to quit.
-Do you remember those crazy chain letters that used to get emailed around? There was one along the lines of, send this to 10 people or this clown is going to kill you in your sleep. That's how the thoughts work, do this or else. How does sending a message have anything to do with a fucking clown? That's how related my thoughts are as well. So ridiculous.
-Now I'm not an intense religious person by any means. I believe in God, and I pray every night, but that is pretty much the extent of it. I'm not against any religions or lack there of, & I support every one. I believe in Jesus. I just want to release my obsessions, give up the things that I cannot control. Maybe a higher power can help with that. Sorry for the religious post there, I really don't like going overboard on anything like that but these next 40 days are what it's about, so that's all I have to say about that.
-Sometimes I think I should take some sort of meds for my nerves. I'm in psych, & I support natural & communicative types of therapy more than biological, but I've been dealing with this since the beginning. I've tried countless natural ways of coping, but the nerves are still there. I just want them to be normal, of course I need some left, but a minimal amount would be prime. For me to let go of what I cannot control.

Today I came upstairs to my dessert that had been already dished outs, of which I promptly split in two & snuck the extra piece back in the container. To the living room, I carried my dinner plate, glass of water & cake plate.  I watched the dessert fall from my hands & hit the floor with the plate, ahh the sound of freedom. I didn't mean for it to fall of course. I cleaned up shards of glass, pricked myself a couple of times, but got out of dessert. Hallelujah.