About a month ago I decided once & for all to go vegetarian. Since I moved in the basement suite (September) I haven't bought meat once & therefore hardly had it for breakfast & lunch. I only bought fish once. Dinner was the only time I was eating meat, and I decided to give it a boot once & for all. My Grandma was surprisingly fine with it, as long as I eat some eggs & sometimes fish. I'm really trying to cut those & other products out in order to go vegan. I already drink non-milk products, have cut out yogurt & cheese, no longer buy eggs, etc. The only thing that's difficult is something like bread made with eggs. I'll have to look into other substitutes. Of course I'm not going to be completely vegan (at dinner) in a house with a very traditional Grandmother, she grew up on cream, butter & meat, & never had greens in the house until a few years ago. Nevertheless, cutting out meat is huge progress in this house of hers. I've been eating too much though. What is there to eat too much of in a vegan diet? PEANUT BUTTER. Uggh. I should just chuck it, but feel so bad for wasting. I should decorate the jar with model photographs.
This whole vegan thing. I really started it to be healthy, for the purpose of nourishing my body. I really wanted to get rid of the disordered eating habits & just enjoy my body. Who am I kidding. It is another way to cut out & manipulate food, in my case. It's another way to restrict. And guess what, I'm sticking to it. Though maybe one day I'll use to for the purpose it is supposed to serve, to take care of myself.
My exercise hasn't been this consistent since three years ago. At least that's going for me.
Stress. Family issues, summer job searches (not sure if I'm going home or staying in the city), and school. A month & a half left of school, not counting the outlier final at the end of April, means two midterms, four papers, & four finals. Fun stuff. I'm not really stressed about any of that. I think it's what family, jobs & school symbolize. Basically, it's me worrying about people I care for, wondering how much responsibility is on my plate this summer (if I should go to my town as I really want to as it could be my last summer we have a house there, or to care for my relative in the city), & my loss of direction yet need for perfection related to school.
Stress. Leads to food. Leads to weight gain. I'm not even that motivated to lose weight anymore. Please, remind me why I need this to focus on! I really do want it, somewhere inside this fat self. Otherwise, I'll wake up fatter, and more stressed.
I think's awesome you're going vegetarian/semi-vegan! My grandma's the same way- EVERYTHING has butter, eggs, meat, and dairy of some sort in what she cooks. Even her green beans has bacon grease on them to "give them flavor!" *blech* >< Oh, peanut butter- I literally ate the whole jar at my house in a week. I tell my folks to hide it from me!
ReplyDeleteThat's good your exercise is starting is be more consistant now. Consistancy is good thing because you're able to get into a pattern of doing something good.
Nevere lose sight of what you want to accomplish. I know you've probably heard this quote loads of times, but it's important, "It doesn't matter how slow you go, so long as you don't stop." And, "Never give up on a dream just because of the length of time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway."♥