Waking up Full

I hate the feeling of waking up full. It means I am waking up fat.

I am gross now. Double chin. My stomach looks pregnant. I can't stop my binge eating, it is disgusting! And at home I was surrounded by ice cream and pizza (usually not foods we have but for some reason this weekend we splurged our intakes on them) and chocolate and peanut butter and pumpkin pie.

I don't even get thin comments anymore. I search for them, just out of habit, just to feel like I am thinner than most as I used to be. How did I get so fat? I saw my mom weigh herself, she is 10 pounds lighter than me. I am 131 now. Uggh. She is a few inches shorter, but still. She has had two children, and now has less of a gut than me! She is quite thin in a nice and healthy looking way.

I really love my Mom. We had the greatest conversations all weekend long, and I didn't get much studying done but it's worth it to spend time with her.

I don't want to be a fat disappointment for my parents. I took my scale from home, so maybe that will help my situation. I must be 128 by October 31 to be on track. Im going to look at bingeing self help work books after my Tuesday exam. I better be thin the next time I go home.